You've most likely come here because you, or someone close to you, is expecting a baby, is that right? You're also here because something tells you that some form of support may be helpful. You're not wrong.
The postpartum period is a time of major transition, for the whole family, but especially for the birthgiver. It is considered a vulnerable time for both mother and baby and is often called the 4th trimester, for good reasons. After the marathon called childbirth, the fun only just begins with changing hormone levels, possibly dealing with an episiotomy, or c-section wound care, learning to breastfeed, constipation (anyone?), and... sleepless nights. These are things the pregnancy and childbirth books don't prepare you for, even if they try. And we haven't even spoken about caring for the newborn.
Many cultures have special postpartum customs, such as special diets, a time of isolation, rest, and household support for the mother. Across different cultures, the likeness of such customs is striking. However, many of these postpartum practices have dwindled since the 1950s. When once there was a distinctive focus on rest and assistance for the mother after giving birth, it is now often something that she is told to do: "Take it easy dear, sleep when the baby sleeps, ask for help when you need to," much like an extra job at the bottom of a long list of jobs already waiting for her. We're starting to acknowledge that our increasing mental health issues among postnatal parents have something to do with it, but for many, it is too little too late.
So, how can a doula help, and who are they?
The short version is this: a postpartum doula provides non-medical, practical, emotional, and informational support during the postpartum period. I like to call it: "mothering the mother." Once upon a time, almost all cultures recognised that post-delivery, mothers needed rest, nourishment, support, and time alone with baby. Time to restore, establish breastfeeding, bond with, and find her rhythm with baby. We now know that there was much wisdom in such practices, and we need to claim them back to set our newborn parents up for success.
So, practically, this means that a postpartum doula may do the following (though it depends on each individual doula):
Prepare you for the time after birth (pre-natally)
Cook nutritious meals
Do light housework
Provide you with evidence-based information
Helps you set goals and intentions
Bring you a gift pack with items, especially for you
Help siblings adjust
Be a compassionate listening ear (we really don't mind hearing every detail of your birth story)
Promote self-care
Support your partner too
I believe that these practices fill Mum's reservoir, or tank. It gives her a sense of worth, gives her time to restore, and helps her feel supported, part of a team. When Mum's tank is full, she is able to give, last the distance, become strong, and be the parent she needs to be, and wants to be. Give it some thought, she's worth it. You are worth it.
At Eaglevision Coaching and Training, we zoom in on parents who are having a baby in need of medical attention immediately, or soon after birth. Along with all of the above postpartum happenings, these parents are facing a whole extra journey with it's own set of challenges. We will talk more about this in time to come, keep checking back in, or for more information visit our website.
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